This week has been hell i don't know any other real way to put it. Me personally i sin. I cuss and i have problems controlling my thoughts. I wont lie I'm being straight forward, but the worst thing is when you get so mad you lash out and say things or get physical because you cant respond any differently. Or at least you don't think you can.
See my environment growing up wasn't to bad. i grew up in a family where venting your anger was just something that involved yelling and threats and a slap every once in a while or a harsh spanking but other than that nothing more. So naturally i grew more and more accustomed to showing my anger til i got to the point where i was upset and raging all the time... with the influence of God and a couple of good beatings from my mom that subsided and more or less i can control it.... well as of lately its been being tested. And when i mean being tested i mean its like putting an addict in front of their addiction and saying its yours but its the last time you can have it for a longggggg time. So finally after this week of being tried i took the bait. And it felt amazing... Til i came down off the rage then i realized i just really messed up. What was messed up about it is i snapped so hard i don't even remember what all was said and if i didn't have some one to cull my rage i would have probably been in jail right now. Its like something Benjamin Franklin once said, what begins in anger ends in shame. And all crap aside i was embarrassed and ashamed that i let go like that.
Take heed don't make my mistake fight against it, God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Matthew 5:7 ...Get this guys. Its crucial that im not wasting my time i want to see a change in the world. Pay it forward. when your mad bury yourself in scripture and prayer. Dont lash out and be foolish... please I am saying this in utter desperation.
God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God. get this its important that you understand peacemaking isn't only of that around you but in your heart... do it through Christ i will leave you guys with this.... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.